WotWM: Oblique
by TrippleThreatTrio
Summary: It's what bothered her the most. Was there even a word for what she felt? Was it that easy to define? Tenten wasn't sure, but her entire world had been tipped askew when Neji died.
(Another small one-shot in the **_Whispers of the War Maidens_** series. This takes place a few months after the events of the fourth shinobi world war, and it features Tenten. Furthermore, as a group we are undecided as to which girl we should center a full length story on next. We have made a poll containing our top choices. If **_Whispers of the War Maidens_** as a series interests you, go and cast your vote on our profile. The new story won't begin being posted until Temari's is complete, but we need the time to properly prepare, collect data, and murder any plot bunnies before they rampantly reproduce.)

 **Summary:** It's what bothered her the most. Was there even a word for what she felt? Was it that easy to define? Tenten wasn't entirely sure, but her entire world had been tipped askew when he died.

 **WotWM: Oblique**

There were things she couldn't explain. She didn't want to. The moments she'd spent with him, were moments that could have lasted a lifetime. He was, for her, a reminder that strength didn't come from raw power. Neji, for all of his hard edges and stern demeanor, was a good man. The kind she could stand beside.

A comrade, a friend, maybe in some ways he was even a rival.

Whatever it had been, she wasn't entirely sure. No matter what, his steadfast presence in her life was what made her happy. It gave her the motivation, and it demanded her focus. He was her calm during ciaos. Her cold fury in heated storm. Logic to the madness…courage in terror, hope in despair. He was, in many ways, the only thing she really needed.

Standing in front of his grave now, it seemed as if all of her confidence died away with him. Even Hinata could bite her lip, sigh away the pain.

 _So, why can't I?_ Tenten wondered to herself.

Tenten couldn't. She tried.

God help her, she did, with everything she had in her. Months later, she couldn't stop standing still. She couldn't keep herself from looking at his name etched in stone. It marked a man's end. A war hero, who died bravely for a cause.

"Damn you." She sighed, as if she might be able to hear him reply. The edge of her sandal nudged his grave marker. "Even in death, you're a pompous bastard." So then why was it she couldn't let him go? Why, even after all of that, did she feel so compelled to just stand here and look at him. Looking blankly at what that grey stone represented. How impermanent life really was. "Lee, his idiocy I get. He's so full of himself, but you?"

Why, out of all of the ninja on the god forsaken planet, did it have to be Neji?

Why was he the one who jumped, skewering himself for a higher cause? If he was still alive, she's beat him senseless. If he was alive, she would be able to sleep easily. It was his goddamn fault. Always unable to put the past down, let go if his regrets. Atonement? What good did it do him now? Did he even feel anything, was there anything for him after he was completely gone, his eyes unseeing?

Leaving everything else behind, was his soul really at peace with that?

"Asshole." She hissed, teeth clenched, fists clenched. Kicking the grave marker again, stubbing her tone in the process, it was like he was batting her foot away. Like this too, was a sparring match between them. Like he was pushing her to do better. She knew someone was behind her, watching her. The same man that was always watching her…watching them. She hated it, knowing that her teacher of all people was letting his own agony get the better of him. "What do you want now?" She asked quietly, defeated.

"Tenten…"

"I'm fine." She said. To her credit, her voice was even. It had taken months, but it didn't shake anymore.

"I'm not." Her sensei, always a person to wear his emotions on his sleeve stood beside her in mere moments. "I'm not fine. How can I be, seeing you like this?"

She shrugged, stuffing her hands into her pockets. "If I were you, I wouldn't worry about me." She had to be the one as cold as stone now. For Guy, for Lee, for a lot of reasons she didn't have words for.

"Do you love him?" Guy asked, though his eyes didn't meet hers. He had thought long and hard about pushing the girl, forcing her to talk and open up. She was a hardheaded person, all of his students were. Yet, she was the one most precious to him. Like the daughter he never had. If Rock Lee was his model pupil, Tenten was his failure. The wallflower he couldn't protect, not in spite of his greatest efforts. He couldn't promise his life away to her, like he could with Lee. He couldn't train her into feeling better, he couldn't force away the pain with a new skill or ability.

"I don't know." It's what bothered her the most. Was there even a word for what she felt? Was it that east to define? Tenten wasn't entirely sure, but her entire world had been tipped askew when he died. "Does it even matter?"

"Tenten..." Even her name sounded weak on his lips. Like she was standing on a fragile knife's edge. Like he was afraid he would lose her too. "It does." Sounding as if he would never be able to bear it, if he did. "Honestly." Struggling with strangled words. "Feelings, no matter what they are, they matter."

"We weren't like that, though." She murmured. She never really fawned over him, and she hadn't needed too. Neji had always understood. "He was always just there. Why isn't he still here now?"

"I wonder." Guy agreed. The teacher had long decided that in some ways, Neij's ghost still remained. That he still continued to push others to greater heights. Guy had seen it from afar. Naruto, Hinata, Lee, even himself. Neji pushed everyone, his memory was good for that. "For me, he still is."

"Well he isn't for me." Tenten said angrily. She swallowed hard. "Why'd he do it?"

"I don't know." There was only one thing he could do. He could put his arms around her. He could cry for her. He could stay there, stuck in this terrible limbo with her, until she was ready to let go. He'd stay by her side for an eternity, if he had to. "I'm sorry, but I really don't."

She sighed, caught in tight embrace. Any other time, she'd squirm from his hold. Call him a big oaf, and lecture him about getting into her personal space. As it was now, the only thing she wanted to do was hold into the green fabric of his suit. She closed her eyes, wishing it was Neji holding her. She wished their team was whole once more. Since that was impossible, she just wished her eyes would stop burning. She wished she wasn't crying.

If that was love, so be it. "Guy…what if I did?"

This was the Tenten he knew. The girl always like fog in the mirror. Unclear, and unsatisfied with the status quo. He mentally berated himself, he should have said this sooner. "Then it's fine if you still do." Guy let one of his palms fall atop her head, his thumb ruffling her bangs. "You don't have to give that up, not yet. It's okay not to."

From the corner of his eye, he could see Lee leaning up against one of the walls in the cemetery. Watching from afar. Well, if that was the way things were, that was the way things would have to be. "Lee!" Guy called summoning the young man to his side. His job as their sensei might have been over, but his job watching over them was far from done.

Tenten almost cracked a laugh when Lee wedged his way into the hug too...almost...maybe just a little.


End file.
